211- Nightly Motivation 3

You don’t need anyone to validate your struggle. There’s nothing that you’re given that you can’t handle. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you can’t! And knowing this, there’s nothing that is going to deter you from your goals. You know what? I say, embrace the adversity. Embrace the challenge. Embrace the lies and comments made about you, because honestly, all you have to do now is work through the struggle. Don’t stress yourself out about anything else, just focus on making it through. Yes, it’s easier said than done, but when you do get through it, you’ll be all the happier and grateful that you fought such a battle in the first place!

Good night.

204- Nightly Motivation 2

I know I can’t be the only one who constantly thinks about their dreams and future goals, and think about how unattainable they seem sometimes. Tonight, though, I made sure to remind myself of those specific things, and I really let myself envision having them. If it was meant to be easy to achieve, it really wouldn’t be worth much. So, guys, as you lay on your pillows tonight and think about your future, try not to be afraid. Your dreams will come true as long as you believe and work towards them! Oprah Winfrey, Tyler Perry, Viola Davis, and the greats like them didn’t have it easy at all, but they pushed forward past all of the obstacles and became names that we will never forget. Trust in the process! Trust in yourselves! The journey is necessary, and like Yvonne Orji says: “the wait is sexy.”

Good night.

185- OCD Quote 

” What if you were you mother and you kept having doubts about drowning your baby in the bath? How would you talk about it then? … Or a gay man who kept having thoughts about tits when he made love to his husband? You’d keep it a secret for years; for your whole life, perhaps…and even though you had what the World Health Organization considers one of the ten most debilitating disorders in the world, not a soul would know” – Pure by Rose Bretecher

160- Quote of the Day

“The happiness derived from some secondary source is never deep. It is only a pale reflection of the joy of Being, the vibrant peace that you find within as you enter the state nonresistance. Being takes you beyond the polar opposites of the mind and frees you from dependency on form. Even if everything were to collapse and crumble all around you, you would still feel a deep inner core of peace. You may not be happy, but you will be at peace.”- The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

146- Different Ways to Cope With Anxiety

I have come across many suggestions on how to cope with anxiety, and some have helped and others have not. Here are some of the main coping techniques that many articles suggest:

Accept your anxiety- don’t try to fight it, because it will only make matters worse. I agree with this one, but in my experience, once the ball gets rolling it’s hard to stop. 

Take a deep breath– this can help to slow down your heart rate, and bring you back into the present. 

Focus on what you’re doing– don’t let your anxiety dictate your actions. As long as you can stay present, the anxiety will fade away on its own.

These are just a couple of suggestions that I found on this website where nine coping techniques are detailed: https://psychcentral.com/lib/9-ways-to-reduce-anxiety-right-here-right-now/

As for the personal techniques that I use: 

1. Try to be still– Usually when I stay still, I am able to take a step back and look at the situation more clearly. I usually use questions like “Does this experience really deserve a reaction?” “Do you really want to go through this stress right now?” “What is there really to be afraid of?”

2. Drink some hot tea, or just plain old hot water– This usually helps me when I’m alone, and I start to worry randomly. I mean, I feel better instantly after I’ve had a steaming cup of tea.

3. Get creative– I usually try to write or draw, because I can easily use that same energy to create something great.

4. Get physical– dance around! Do a sport! Do some jumping jacks, anything, just get your body moving.

5. Read a great book/ watch a good movie- I mean, this by far has been the most helpful for me, because it feels great to be somewhere else without having to leave the comfort of my own room.

This is all I have for you guys this morning. Look out for my future posts, because I’ll be addressing anxiety and depression this whole week!

145- Morning Talks

I’ve been up for a while now, and the sun’s rays are beaming through my blinds at this moment. I’m listening to “Surreal” by James Vincent Mcmorrow, and for once in many mornings, I’m not waking up with a knot in the pit of my stomach. As I lay here, though, memories start to fade in and out against the melody of the song. Many of them are cringey to say the least, but I remind myself to enjoy this moment. I remind myself that I’m not there anymore, I’m here. It sure does feel good to be right here. 

My favorite lines of this song are definitely “You have come and placed your palm on my wrist, dragged me into the light, now I’m hoping I will be enough.” 

I will definitely be posting more about James Vincent Mcmorrow’s music, because it has honestly always been a comfort for me. Check him out if you have a chance. Have a great morning guys. 

140- Can We End Our Own Mental Suffering?

The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer has been a great read so far. Singer talks about letting go of the external things that life throws at us, and work from within to center ourselves, which in turn can end our suffering. I have a couple of chapters left to read, but I thought I’d share a couple of profound quotes from the book with you guys.

Singer writes:

“Who have you ever allowed directly into your true inner self without the protection of your mental buffer? Nobody, not even yourself.”

“The moment you start seeing that you don’t like the people you used to like, the moment you start seeing that your life looks really different, the moment it all starts getting negative–let go. You should have let go before, but you didn’t.”

“Be an explorer. Witness it, and then it will go (emotions).”

“It’s none of your business. Just let things go. That’s what the Self does. Awareness does not fight; awareness releases. Awareness is simply aware while everything in the universe parades before it.”

“Once you learn that it’s okay to feel inner disturbances, and that they can no longer  disturb your seat of consciousness, you will be free.”

“The noise, the fear, the confusion, the constant changing of the inner energies– it can all stop.”

124- I’ve Decided To Leave Therapy

Where do I begin? I’ve been in therapy since September and it has been an okay experience. I was able to confront a lot of my childhood wounds throughout this process, which was great, but I knew from the beginning that the therapist was not. She’s a clinical counseling student (first year), who’s used to doing research and not dealing with people on this level. I knew from the start of the first couple of sessions that I wasn’t too crazy about her, but I stayed because I was in a shitty place in life, and at this point, I couldn’t do it alone–which I could have if I wasn’t so caught up in my mind. Now, I have finally gained enough clarity at this point to leave, and I’m so happy with my decision.

Here are the things about her that threw this whole process off for me:

  • She’s judgmental. The funny thing is, she doesn’t even have to say anything, I can see it all over her face.
  • She brought her personal life into the session, and made me feel uncomfortable in the process.
  • She forgets that I’m a college grad, who’s studying counseling as well, and she continuously makes my opinions feels invalidated.
  • It seems that at times, she’s looking for my validation.
  • She basically forced me to make a decision that I didn’t want to, basically breaking our trust early on. I kept going after that, though, because I told myself that I should have never said anything in the first place.
  • Lastly, I saw be super judgmental towards another client in the waiting room, who seemed to be suffering from severe anxiety. Like hello? Why make a face if she’s in the waiting room? Clearly she’s there for a reason! Okay, I had to get that off of my chest.

Guys, don’t be afraid to speak up in therapy, because you’re paying for it. The research and the techniques do not exist without people like us who go and seek out this type of help. Our stories fuel therapy. Don’t be afraid to ask for a new therapist (one with more experience than the last), or leave the facility all together if you’re not feeling the environment. 

Day 123- I Recommend Reading “The Four Agreements”

I have decided to spend a lot of time alone. Not with the intent to cower away from the outside world, but to actually get to know myself outside of my worries. During this time, I have also been reading in order to gain some type of perspective on life, or what we think is life. While watching a Big Sean interview on The Breakfast Club, this book The Four Agreements came up in conversation, and he talked about how this book helped him deal with a lot of negativity that was going on around him. Once the interview was over, decided to buy the book.

Don Miguel Ruiz is the author of this great book the details how simple life is, honestly. He gives his readers four agreements to live by in order to allow for us to make our lives easier. He says that we are already free, we just can’t see it. His words opened my eyes to ideas, or truths as I see them, that I always wondered about, but cowered away from in fear that I wasn’t making any sense. I will definitely be making more posts as I read more books similar to this one, but for now, here are the four agreements that Ruiz talks about.

  1. Be impeccable with your word– Don’t use your words to be demeaning to yourself, first and foremost, as well as others. He says, we are the biggest abusers of ourselves, because we judge our actions, and we put limits upon our capabilities. Use the word to break all those teeny, tiny agreements that make you suffer.
  2. Don’t take anything personally– Don’t take what others say about you personally. Most of the time, anything that someone says about you comes from their own pain and misfortune. You take it personally, because you agree with whatever was said. As soon as you agree, the poison goes through you, and you are trapped in the dream of hell.
  3. Don’t make assumptions- We make an assumption, we misunderstand, we take it personally, and we end up creating a whole big drama for nothing.
  4. Always do your best– You don’t have to be angry with yourself if you don’t keep the four agreements, just do your best. Everything is alive and changing all the time, so your best will sometimes be high quality, and other times it will not be as good.