I just finished reading Pure by Rose Bretecher. It is a memoir in which a young woman details her eleven year battle with OCD, in which she was constantly bombarded with distressing intrusive thoughts. I deal with the exact same thing, and let me tell you, as I read each page of this book, I kept thinking how finally, finally, someone understood exactly what I was dealing with. If you don’t quite understand how intrusive thoughts work, this would be a great read, because Bretecher does a great job of describing just how debilitating it can be, especially when it comes to the subject matter of the fears.
I’m still in limbo. I’m still trying to find the right therapy, but after reading this, I feel like I can get through it. I feel like in time, I will go back to “normal,” go back to just living, go back to a time when I didn’t get anxious just walking down the street. It sucks that anyone has to deal with this, but I’m so happy that Rose Bretecher went through this, because out of all of the books that I have read so far, it has been the greatest comfort to me.
“The happiness derived from some secondary source is never deep. It is only a pale reflection of the joy of Being, the vibrant peace that you find within as you enter the state nonresistance. Being takes you beyond the polar opposites of the mind and frees you from dependency on form. Even if everything were to collapse and crumble all around you, you would still feel a deep inner core of peace. You may not be happy, but you will be at peace.”- The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
Out of all of the books that I have read so far, all of the authors say to ask myself “Who am I?” I mean, I ask myself this question and I’m not sure on what the answer is. They say that who we think we are is dictated by our history, which is our identity, but not who we really are. I was watching an awesome interview between Oprah and India Arie, and Arie said something that struck me. She said: “You do not have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.” She left me speechless. I don’t think that I have ever thought of myself as a soul. The whole idea, or truth as it seems to be, is life shattering, but why don’t I feel it?
So I have asked myself this question more than I ever have in my life over the last couple of weeks, and I still haven’t come to any conclusion, or had any life altering epiphanies, but I thought that I’d throw this question out there to you guys. Who are you?
Have a great night. Look out for future posts!
The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer has been a great read so far. Singer talks about letting go of the external things that life throws at us, and work from within to center ourselves, which in turn can end our suffering. I have a couple of chapters left to read, but I thought I’d share a couple of profound quotes from the book with you guys.
“Who have you ever allowed directly into your true inner self without the protection of your mental buffer? Nobody, not even yourself.”
“The moment you start seeing that you don’t like the people you used to like, the moment you start seeing that your life looks really different, the moment it all starts getting negative–let go. You should have let go before, but you didn’t.”
“Be an explorer. Witness it, and then it will go (emotions).”
“It’s none of your business. Just let things go. That’s what the Self does. Awareness does not fight; awareness releases. Awareness is simply aware while everything in the universe parades before it.”
“Once you learn that it’s okay to feel inner disturbances, and that they can no longer disturb your seat of consciousness, you will be free.”
“The noise, the fear, the confusion, the constant changing of the inner energies– it can all stop.”
I have decided to spend a lot of time alone. Not with the intent to cower away from the outside world, but to actually get to know myself outside of my worries. During this time, I have also been reading in order to gain some type of perspective on life, or what we think is life. While watching a Big Sean interview on The Breakfast Club, this book The Four Agreements came up in conversation, and he talked about how this book helped him deal with a lot of negativity that was going on around him. Once the interview was over, decided to buy the book.
Don Miguel Ruiz is the author of this great book the details how simple life is, honestly. He gives his readers four agreements to live by in order to allow for us to make our lives easier. He says that we are already free, we just can’t see it. His words opened my eyes to ideas, or truths as I see them, that I always wondered about, but cowered away from in fear that I wasn’t making any sense. I will definitely be making more posts as I read more books similar to this one, but for now, here are the four agreements that Ruiz talks about.
- Be impeccable with your word– Don’t use your words to be demeaning to yourself, first and foremost, as well as others. He says, we are the biggest abusers of ourselves, because we judge our actions, and we put limits upon our capabilities. Use the word to break all those teeny, tiny agreements that make you suffer.
- Don’t take anything personally– Don’t take what others say about you personally. Most of the time, anything that someone says about you comes from their own pain and misfortune. You take it personally, because you agree with whatever was said. As soon as you agree, the poison goes through you, and you are trapped in the dream of hell.
- Don’t make assumptions- We make an assumption, we misunderstand, we take it personally, and we end up creating a whole big drama for nothing.
- Always do your best– You don’t have to be angry with yourself if you don’t keep the four agreements, just do your best. Everything is alive and changing all the time, so your best will sometimes be high quality, and other times it will not be as good.