” What if you were you mother and you kept having doubts about drowning your baby in the bath? How would you talk about it then? … Or a gay man who kept having thoughts about tits when he made love to his husband? You’d keep it a secret for years; for your whole life, perhaps…and even though you had what the World Health Organization considers one of the ten most debilitating disorders in the world, not a soul would know” – Pure by Rose Bretecher
I have come across many suggestions on how to cope with anxiety, and some have helped and others have not. Here are some of the main coping techniques that many articles suggest:
Accept your anxiety- don’t try to fight it, because it will only make matters worse. I agree with this one, but in my experience, once the ball gets rolling it’s hard to stop.
Take a deep breath– this can help to slow down your heart rate, and bring you back into the present.
Focus on what you’re doing– don’t let your anxiety dictate your actions. As long as you can stay present, the anxiety will fade away on its own.
These are just a couple of suggestions that I found on this website where nine coping techniques are detailed: https://psychcentral.com/lib/9-ways-to-reduce-anxiety-right-here-right-now/
As for the personal techniques that I use:
1. Try to be still– Usually when I stay still, I am able to take a step back and look at the situation more clearly. I usually use questions like “Does this experience really deserve a reaction?” “Do you really want to go through this stress right now?” “What is there really to be afraid of?”
2. Drink some hot tea, or just plain old hot water– This usually helps me when I’m alone, and I start to worry randomly. I mean, I feel better instantly after I’ve had a steaming cup of tea.
3. Get creative– I usually try to write or draw, because I can easily use that same energy to create something great.
4. Get physical– dance around! Do a sport! Do some jumping jacks, anything, just get your body moving.
5. Read a great book/ watch a good movie- I mean, this by far has been the most helpful for me, because it feels great to be somewhere else without having to leave the comfort of my own room.
This is all I have for you guys this morning. Look out for my future posts, because I’ll be addressing anxiety and depression this whole week!
Source: ‘She’ is the ‘One’
Check out the post above. It talks about the importance of women in all societies. An importance that many take for granted all too often.
Out of all of the books that I have read so far, all of the authors say to ask myself “Who am I?” I mean, I ask myself this question and I’m not sure on what the answer is. They say that who we think we are is dictated by our history, which is our identity, but not who we really are. I was watching an awesome interview between Oprah and India Arie, and Arie said something that struck me. She said: “You do not have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.” She left me speechless. I don’t think that I have ever thought of myself as a soul. The whole idea, or truth as it seems to be, is life shattering, but why don’t I feel it?
So I have asked myself this question more than I ever have in my life over the last couple of weeks, and I still haven’t come to any conclusion, or had any life altering epiphanies, but I thought that I’d throw this question out there to you guys. Who are you?
Have a great night. Look out for future posts!
You guys guessed it, this is a song of the night post. I haven’t done one of these in a while, but this song popped into my head today, and I had to write about it.
It begins with a light guitar sound that ushers in a sweet, soulful melody that literally makes you feel like playing your favorite song and dancing around your room like no one is watching. The line that speaks to me the most is definitely”You’re gonna find yourself someway…somehow.” Not only is it hopeful, it shows me that I’m not the only person who feels lost, and who’s trying to find a way to “ge t[their] dreams,” as well as finding peace within. I mean, the video speaks volumes to how powerful and freeing it is just being outdoors. Rae says: “When you gonna realize that you don’t even have to try any longer? do what you want to,” which tells us that we don’t have to try so hard to be free, we are free.
I know that sometimes when we are in our own minds that it may not feel this way, but as long as we know this to be true, we will begin to live like we are soon enough.
That’s all I have for you guys tonight. Look out for another post sometime this week!
The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer has been a great read so far. Singer talks about letting go of the external things that life throws at us, and work from within to center ourselves, which in turn can end our suffering. I have a couple of chapters left to read, but I thought I’d share a couple of profound quotes from the book with you guys.
“Who have you ever allowed directly into your true inner self without the protection of your mental buffer? Nobody, not even yourself.”
“The moment you start seeing that you don’t like the people you used to like, the moment you start seeing that your life looks really different, the moment it all starts getting negative–let go. You should have let go before, but you didn’t.”
“Be an explorer. Witness it, and then it will go (emotions).”
“It’s none of your business. Just let things go. That’s what the Self does. Awareness does not fight; awareness releases. Awareness is simply aware while everything in the universe parades before it.”
“Once you learn that it’s okay to feel inner disturbances, and that they can no longer disturb your seat of consciousness, you will be free.”
“The noise, the fear, the confusion, the constant changing of the inner energies– it can all stop.”
Whenever I hear people say: “I’ll forgive, but I won’t forget,” I always feel like they might as well say that they don’t forgive. I mean, why hold on to the memory if you forgive the person? I understand that one can learn a lesson from certain experiences, but clinging to the memory doesn’t make us stronger, it just weakens us. I feel like my whole life has been about holding onto grudges, just so that I could feel like I was stronger than the person that wronged me. Honestly, it isn’t worth it. Not worth my physical health or my mental health, and it isn’t worth yours either.
Keep releasing the baggage. Don’t let it weigh you down. In the name of throwing away all of those burdens, I share with you, Erykah Badu’s “Bag Lady.” Just let it all go, guys.
Where do I begin? I’ve been in therapy since September and it has been an okay experience. I was able to confront a lot of my childhood wounds throughout this process, which was great, but I knew from the beginning that the therapist was not. She’s a clinical counseling student (first year), who’s used to doing research and not dealing with people on this level. I knew from the start of the first couple of sessions that I wasn’t too crazy about her, but I stayed because I was in a shitty place in life, and at this point, I couldn’t do it alone–which I could have if I wasn’t so caught up in my mind. Now, I have finally gained enough clarity at this point to leave, and I’m so happy with my decision.
Here are the things about her that threw this whole process off for me:
- She’s judgmental. The funny thing is, she doesn’t even have to say anything, I can see it all over her face.
- She brought her personal life into the session, and made me feel uncomfortable in the process.
- She forgets that I’m a college grad, who’s studying counseling as well, and she continuously makes my opinions feels invalidated.
- It seems that at times, she’s looking for my validation.
- She basically forced me to make a decision that I didn’t want to, basically breaking our trust early on. I kept going after that, though, because I told myself that I should have never said anything in the first place.
- Lastly, I saw be super judgmental towards another client in the waiting room, who seemed to be suffering from severe anxiety. Like hello? Why make a face if she’s in the waiting room? Clearly she’s there for a reason! Okay, I had to get that off of my chest.
Guys, don’t be afraid to speak up in therapy, because you’re paying for it. The research and the techniques do not exist without people like us who go and seek out this type of help. Our stories fuel therapy. Don’t be afraid to ask for a new therapist (one with more experience than the last), or leave the facility all together if you’re not feeling the environment.
Have you ever felt that your life would come to an end if you broke up with your boyfriend or lost a good friend? Yeah, I’ve been there too. Lately, I’ve been thinking though, I need to feel this same way about myself. I need to be my own lover and my own best friend. Sometimes we forget that we all have our own stories, and that we must know that each of our stories are valuable. I honestly don’t have a real direction for this post, but I thought that I should put this out to you guys and see what your thoughts are. All in all, though, what I do know is that each of us are already the friend that we believe we can’t live without.
Tyler Perry is one of my biggest inspirations. He survived a traumatic childhood, where physical, sexual, and emotional abuse were present, and beyond all expectations, he became a millionaire. In the video above, he speaks to us and tells us to believe. Believe in our dreams, and most importantly, believe in the possibility of them. He says “you have to know it beyond knowing it.” Whether you believe in a god or not, have faith in your journey. Don’t let the opinions of others stop you. Your dreams are valid, regardless of what others tell you.
On my own journey of self-discovery and mental health, there are days where I just want to give up, where I just want to go through the motions, and basically deny myself the opportunity of a better life– the way I see it. But every time this happens, something within just says keep on fighting. I started the video on the part that spoke to me the most, but you may find something else within this video that may speak to you, so I say watch it for yourself and listen for what might get you going again.
Most importantly, reignite that flame and continue to believe.