190- Nightly Motivation

Rather than sit around and think about those who could care less about you, get up, do something! Grab a pen, put it to paper, and get to know yourself. You’re worthy. Forget about what they say about you. They don’t live your life. They haven’t been through what you’ve been through. Don’t let anyone dictate your life. I know it’s hard, trust me, I do. When you start to feel anger, ask yourself why? Why am I angry? Why does it matter? You have a full life ahead of you, and like T.D. Jakes says “Unlock your mind. Their perception of you doesn’t matter, your perception of yourself does!”

Good night.

146- Different Ways to Cope With Anxiety

I have come across many suggestions on how to cope with anxiety, and some have helped and others have not. Here are some of the main coping techniques that many articles suggest:

Accept your anxiety- don’t try to fight it, because it will only make matters worse. I agree with this one, but in my experience, once the ball gets rolling it’s hard to stop. 

Take a deep breath– this can help to slow down your heart rate, and bring you back into the present. 

Focus on what you’re doing– don’t let your anxiety dictate your actions. As long as you can stay present, the anxiety will fade away on its own.

These are just a couple of suggestions that I found on this website where nine coping techniques are detailed: https://psychcentral.com/lib/9-ways-to-reduce-anxiety-right-here-right-now/

As for the personal techniques that I use: 

1. Try to be still– Usually when I stay still, I am able to take a step back and look at the situation more clearly. I usually use questions like “Does this experience really deserve a reaction?” “Do you really want to go through this stress right now?” “What is there really to be afraid of?”

2. Drink some hot tea, or just plain old hot water– This usually helps me when I’m alone, and I start to worry randomly. I mean, I feel better instantly after I’ve had a steaming cup of tea.

3. Get creative– I usually try to write or draw, because I can easily use that same energy to create something great.

4. Get physical– dance around! Do a sport! Do some jumping jacks, anything, just get your body moving.

5. Read a great book/ watch a good movie- I mean, this by far has been the most helpful for me, because it feels great to be somewhere else without having to leave the comfort of my own room.

This is all I have for you guys this morning. Look out for my future posts, because I’ll be addressing anxiety and depression this whole week!

143- Who Am I?

Out of all of the books that I have read so far, all of the authors say to ask myself “Who am I?” I mean, I ask myself this question and I’m not sure on what the answer is. They say that who we think we are is dictated by our history, which is our identity, but not who we really are. I was watching an awesome interview between Oprah and India Arie, and Arie said something that struck me. She said: “You do not have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.” She left me speechless. I don’t think that I have ever thought of myself as a soul. The whole idea, or truth as it seems to be, is life shattering, but why don’t I feel it?

So I have asked myself this question more than I ever have in my life over the last couple of weeks, and I still haven’t come to any conclusion, or had any life altering epiphanies, but I thought that I’d throw this question out there to you guys. Who are you?

Have a great night. Look out for future posts!

142- Girl, Put Your Records On

You guys guessed it, this is a song of the night post. I haven’t done one of these in a while, but this song popped into my head today, and I had to write about it.

It begins with a light guitar sound that ushers in a sweet, soulful melody that literally makes you feel like playing your favorite song and dancing around your room like no one is watching. The line that speaks to me the most is definitely”You’re gonna find yourself someway…somehow.” Not only is it hopeful, it shows me that I’m not the only person who feels lost, and who’s trying to find a way to “ge t[their] dreams,” as well as finding peace within. I mean, the video speaks volumes to how powerful and freeing it is just being outdoors. Rae says: “When you gonna realize that you don’t even have to try any longer? do what you want to,” which tells us that we don’t have to try so hard to be free, we are free.

I know that sometimes when we are in our own minds that it may not feel this way, but as long as we know this to be true, we will begin to live like we are soon enough.

That’s all I have for you guys tonight. Look out for another post sometime this week!

135- All You Must Hold Onto Is You: Anger and Resentment Part 3

Whenever I hear people say: “I’ll forgive, but I won’t forget,” I always feel like they might as well say that they don’t forgive. I mean, why hold on to the memory if you forgive the person? I understand that one can learn a lesson from certain experiences, but clinging to the memory doesn’t make us stronger, it just weakens us. I feel like my whole life has been about holding onto grudges, just so that I could feel like I was stronger than the person that wronged me. Honestly, it isn’t worth it. Not worth my physical health or my mental health, and it isn’t worth yours either.

Keep releasing the baggage. Don’t let it weigh you down. In the name of throwing away all of those burdens, I share with you, Erykah Badu’s “Bag Lady.” Just let it all go, guys.

 

 

124- I’ve Decided To Leave Therapy

Where do I begin? I’ve been in therapy since September and it has been an okay experience. I was able to confront a lot of my childhood wounds throughout this process, which was great, but I knew from the beginning that the therapist was not. She’s a clinical counseling student (first year), who’s used to doing research and not dealing with people on this level. I knew from the start of the first couple of sessions that I wasn’t too crazy about her, but I stayed because I was in a shitty place in life, and at this point, I couldn’t do it alone–which I could have if I wasn’t so caught up in my mind. Now, I have finally gained enough clarity at this point to leave, and I’m so happy with my decision.

Here are the things about her that threw this whole process off for me:

  • She’s judgmental. The funny thing is, she doesn’t even have to say anything, I can see it all over her face.
  • She brought her personal life into the session, and made me feel uncomfortable in the process.
  • She forgets that I’m a college grad, who’s studying counseling as well, and she continuously makes my opinions feels invalidated.
  • It seems that at times, she’s looking for my validation.
  • She basically forced me to make a decision that I didn’t want to, basically breaking our trust early on. I kept going after that, though, because I told myself that I should have never said anything in the first place.
  • Lastly, I saw be super judgmental towards another client in the waiting room, who seemed to be suffering from severe anxiety. Like hello? Why make a face if she’s in the waiting room? Clearly she’s there for a reason! Okay, I had to get that off of my chest.

Guys, don’t be afraid to speak up in therapy, because you’re paying for it. The research and the techniques do not exist without people like us who go and seek out this type of help. Our stories fuel therapy. Don’t be afraid to ask for a new therapist (one with more experience than the last), or leave the facility all together if you’re not feeling the environment. 

Day 122- The Sun Won’t Stop Shining, Because We Say It’s Too Damn Hot

Remember those days as a kid when you used to try to look up at the sun, but you couldn’t for too long because its powerful rays would hurt your eyes? No matter how frustrated we would get with this, the sun kept on shining. 

What I’m trying to get at here is that we exist like the sun exists, but the difference with our existence is that we try to change ourselves for others. It’s hard for us to be ourselves when we think that others will not accept us, but honestly, whether  someone like us or not, should not stop us from shining. Like the sun, we exist separately from other human beings, so we have the right to live our lives the way we see fit, without fear of judgment. We can’t budge every time someone has an opinion about us, because their opinions will always be there. Just like someone can’t control what you do/say, you can’t control what they do/say.

We need to own the fact that we are our own suns– powerful radiations of light that no one can change, no matter how much they think they can.