Is that I have been feeling so much better! I know that I haven’t posted in a while and that’s because things have slowly but surely gotten better over these past 2 months. I am so happy to say that recovery has been going so well. My new therapist is awesome! I got TWO new jobs and I can finally walk outside without my heart falling into my shoes! Remember when that was all I wanted? Man, I know that my journey is not yet over, but honestly I feel good when I wake up in the morning. I feel happy and truly blessed. Guys, like I have always said, progress comes in time. Don’t ever give up the fight!
Hey guys, I don’t have much to post tonight, but one if my favorite artists of all time, James Vincent Mcmorrow, just dropped a new album! I’ve posted about his music a few times, and his music has gotten me through many tough times. There’s just something about his voice and what he does with music that is so amazing. I mean, it’s almost orgasmic. Listen for yourself and see what I’m talking about. His album is called True Care, and so is the first single off of it.
Enjoy! See you on my next post!
You don’t need anyone to validate your struggle. There’s nothing that you’re given that you can’t handle. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you can’t! And knowing this, there’s nothing that is going to deter you from your goals. You know what? I say, embrace the adversity. Embrace the challenge. Embrace the lies and comments made about you, because honestly, all you have to do now is work through the struggle. Don’t stress yourself out about anything else, just focus on making it through. Yes, it’s easier said than done, but when you do get through it, you’ll be all the happier and grateful that you fought such a battle in the first place!
I know I can’t be the only one who constantly thinks about their dreams and future goals, and think about how unattainable they seem sometimes. Tonight, though, I made sure to remind myself of those specific things, and I really let myself envision having them. If it was meant to be easy to achieve, it really wouldn’t be worth much. So, guys, as you lay on your pillows tonight and think about your future, try not to be afraid. Your dreams will come true as long as you believe and work towards them! Oprah Winfrey, Tyler Perry, Viola Davis, and the greats like them didn’t have it easy at all, but they pushed forward past all of the obstacles and became names that we will never forget. Trust in the process! Trust in yourselves! The journey is necessary, and like Yvonne Orji says: “the wait is sexy.”
A little more than a month ago, I was in the worst shape of my life. I was honestly at the lowest point that I’ve ever seen myself, but I’m happy to say that I’m making it through. The intrusive thoughts and the anxiety that comes with them are not as strong, and lawd does that feel like a blessing, because I getting to the end of my rope.
If you guys feel like you need extra help, do not be afraid to seek out help if you feel like your family or other people around you aren’t listening. There are tons of resources out there, there are suicide hotlines, and there is voluntary hospitalization (usually a three day stay) which I would highly recommend to anyone that is going through a tough time. Again, like I always say, don’t give up! Better days will come.
National Suicide Hotline: 1800 273 8255
Rather than sit around and think about those who could care less about you, get up, do something! Grab a pen, put it to paper, and get to know yourself. You’re worthy. Forget about what they say about you. They don’t live your life. They haven’t been through what you’ve been through. Don’t let anyone dictate your life. I know it’s hard, trust me, I do. When you start to feel anger, ask yourself why? Why am I angry? Why does it matter? You have a full life ahead of you, and like T.D. Jakes says “Unlock your mind. Their perception of you doesn’t matter, your perception of yourself does!”
I just finished reading Pure by Rose Bretecher. It is a memoir in which a young woman details her eleven year battle with OCD, in which she was constantly bombarded with distressing intrusive thoughts. I deal with the exact same thing, and let me tell you, as I read each page of this book, I kept thinking how finally, finally, someone understood exactly what I was dealing with. If you don’t quite understand how intrusive thoughts work, this would be a great read, because Bretecher does a great job of describing just how debilitating it can be, especially when it comes to the subject matter of the fears.
I’m still in limbo. I’m still trying to find the right therapy, but after reading this, I feel like I can get through it. I feel like in time, I will go back to “normal,” go back to just living, go back to a time when I didn’t get anxious just walking down the street. It sucks that anyone has to deal with this, but I’m so happy that Rose Bretecher went through this, because out of all of the books that I have read so far, it has been the greatest comfort to me.
” What if you were you mother and you kept having doubts about drowning your baby in the bath? How would you talk about it then? … Or a gay man who kept having thoughts about tits when he made love to his husband? You’d keep it a secret for years; for your whole life, perhaps…and even though you had what the World Health Organization considers one of the ten most debilitating disorders in the world, not a soul would know” – Pure by Rose Bretecher
“The happiness derived from some secondary source is never deep. It is only a pale reflection of the joy of Being, the vibrant peace that you find within as you enter the state nonresistance. Being takes you beyond the polar opposites of the mind and frees you from dependency on form. Even if everything were to collapse and crumble all around you, you would still feel a deep inner core of peace. You may not be happy, but you will be at peace.”- The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
I could explain it to you guys, but this post is definitely an accurate, and interesting read. It completely described my life in one sitting. Check it out!