Day 61

Yesterday, I was having a conversation with a close friend. I was telling her how the trauma I suffered as a child has affected how I view myself and how I interact with men. 

Now that I’m in therapy, I have realized how little I previously thought of myself. I’m just now starting to love myself, truly love myself. I was telling her that sometimes just saying things to yourself is not enough to make you believe it. For so many years I told myself: “you’re beautiful,” “you’re secure,” “you’re at peace,” but no matter how many times i said this, I never believed it. It never changed how I felt.

I have a post on here called “my life mantra,” and I honestly don’t think that I believe in that mantra anymore. I say this, because, like I told my friend: if it’s real, you won’t have to recite it to yourself so many times.

I guess my journey started with these positive affirmations, but it certainly did not end there. I don’t have tips on how to start this process of actually believing in whatever you want about yourself, but never stop learning about yourself. Don’t runaway from the bad memories, trust me, they have added something to your life-whether you think so or not. Never stop exploring what’s inside. Once you stop running, things get easier…in time.

Good night.

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8 thoughts on “Day 61

  1. Sounds like you not saying your mantra anymore is a step toward pretty comprehensive healing. Like, it’s not that you don’t believe your mantra anymore, it’s just that you don’t need to repeat it over and over again to trick yourself into believing it- you really do believe that you’re beautiful, secure, and at peace. Or at least, getting there. Of course, this is just my opinion; I’m a psychologist so I tend to read into things too much sometimes!

    Liked by 1 person

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